The first step to answering these questions is to understand that the Eating Disorder is not simply about food, weight, or vanity, though it often begins that way.  The Eating Disorder is being used, usually unconsciously, to help soothe some sort of emotional pain.   Until that pain gets addressed, the person will not likely be able to stop the behavior(s) that brings her some relief from the pain.

 

One path to an Eating Disorder begins with a person who is dissatisfied with his/her appearance.  S/he starts to diet and starts to lose weight.   The process of losing weight becomes psychologically rewarding.  For example, eating less than everyone else becomes something the person is good at, something she feels proud of.  For those who experience the pain of low self-esteem, this is very alluring.   In addition, by controlling her food intake and her weight, she feels that she has some control over her life.  In a world where many of us feel that we have no real impact on anything, this can be extremely reinforcing.

 

There are many other paths to developing an Eating Disorder. Sometimes it starts with a particular relationship with food.  For example, many people turn to food as a comfort.   Eating,like dieting, can be psychologically rewarding.  For example, knowing that you can dull the pain of feeling alone, stressed, or sad for an hour or two by zoning out and eating a gallon of ice cream is comforting to those who have no other way of coping with their stress and pain.

 

It is crucial to understand that the behaviors associated with Eating Disorders (restricting, bingeing, purging, etc.) become coping mechanisms.   The person uses these behaviors, often without realizing it, to deal with whatever kind of stress, or painful feelings, s/he is facing at the moment.   Thus, the eating-disordered behaviors stop being about managing one's appearance and start being about managing stress and painful emotions, managing life.

 

Often the person with the Eating Disorder does not recognize that the behaviors have shifted from a mechanism to lose weight to a primary mechanism to cope with her life.   Taking away this coping mechanism is as terrifying to the person as taking away a security blanket from a toddler would be -- the world doesn't feel safe or managable without it.  Remembering this will help you to understand why Eating Disorders are so stubborn and why people with Eating Disorders are often so conflicted about giving them up.

 

No one sets out to develop an Eating Disorder, but the behaviors quickly become addictive and the person quickly loses control over them.  This is why professional treatment is needed and is important to begin as soon as possible.  The longer an Eating Disorder exists, the harder it is to treat.  Begin by contacting a therapist or primary care physician who specializes in Eating Disorders. 

 

To learn more, click on the "Signs and Symptoms," "Treatment for Eating Disorders" and "Eating Disorder Resources" tabs to the left.